FUCK NOTES! Substack is insufferable right now

on fake deep notes made to gain traction, and fake deep creator that feed off your insecurities.

Maybe you thought I was done after my viral piece Substack is a social media you cunt, but surprise bitch, I’ve got some more.

So are notes all that everyone is reading these days? Really? We created a Twitter 2.0 for chronically online (and single) girls. We were supposed to create a space where we could learn and support each other, and now it’s all fake deep notes made for clout, and I’m not about that.

I never open this app anymore because my feed is flooded by those fake deep notes saying ‘if you’re a creative, it means you’re an old soul, someone who’s suffered and who sees the pain in others’, I’m sorry, but haven’t you heard of Picasso? Literally one of the most vile artists there ever was.

Being an artist doesn’t make you a good person, and it doesn’t make you empathetic. Being an artist just means you’re insufferable most of the time because all you want to talk about is art, how to make it, how to improve it, and you have very niche and specific interest which makes anyone have a panic attack whenever it’s your birthday and they have to get you a gift.

Honestly, I pity my friends and love them even more for living through my antics.

Another popular note I see is ‘you’re not afraid of criticism, you’re afraid of being seen wanting something’, and I’m just sitting there in the back, slow clapping dramatically like the villain entering the scene with a cigarette between my lips (I haven’t stopped yet, oops). Everyone is afraid of wanting, especially women and gen Z. Our entire lives, we’ve been told to accept what’s in front of us and never question it, so of course wanting more and actually going for it is terrifying at first, like taking a midnight swim on January 1st (I do this every year).

I don’t know, but maybe you guys should try just one therapy session and then see, because saying you’re afraid of wanting something is literally what every therapist tells every client on the first session. You’re out there trying to share good vibes with the world to gain some likes and some subscribers out of it, when instead you could be writing an actual article about it that goes into deep detail about why we feel that way. But no, it’s a fucking note that says nothing interesting, just some ego-masturbating bullshit that everyone can relate to like we’re on girltumblr in 2015. Fuck notes honestly.

I’m tired of seeing these notes because they feed off every insecurity every writer has: rejection. There’s nothing worse for an artist than to be rejected (I just celebrated my 10th rejection for my novel, yay). It’s so easy to write a kind word and say, ‘Don’t be afraid of rejection,’ there will always be an audience for you. Mhm, I think not. I’m not going to lie, I think some of ya’ll can’t write and decided to pick up your laptop and write because it’s the new cool girl hobby to have while some of us have been at this for decades.

Not everyone will gain an audience, and that’s okay, that’s cool, I’m fine with whatever audience I got because at least they’re kind and funny, and they reply to mean comments for me like attack dogs (love y’all). The goal of writing shouldn’t be to be read, but to find pleasure in the writing. If you don’t like the act of writing and only do it for your audience, then, honey, you’ve gone down the wrong path.

Then you have those who genuinely love writing but fail to make their mark on Substack and complain about it. I’m sorry, do you think I gained my audience with my first article? While my first article bangs (it’s about The Hunger Games) no one liked it, and that’s fine. You’re an artist, you’re bound to get rejected; Van Gogh was unknown for his entire life, and yet he’s one of the most celebrated painters of all time, and he will one day enter Le Louvre.

So please don’t whine on notes about how no one likes your writing, the truth is maybe your writing sucks, or maybe you haven’t found your niche yet. You think I’m happy when an article I spent 13 hours on gets 2 likes for 1k views? No, you don’t see me whining about it, though.

So stop letting random people who look like bots feed off your insecurities about not being good enough of a writer, of wanting to be good, of wanting anything at all, or telling you that writing makes you a good person, because it doesn’t. None of those things are true, and deep down, you know it.

Writing makes you one thing: a writer. The rest is up to you, and there’s beauty in the freedom of it. You don’t have to be all dark academia with a coffee and a stack of russian novels by your side as you’re writing, you don’t need to be Carrie Bradshaw chainsmoking her way through every ‘I couldn’t help but wonder’, you can just be you, and I think that’s the greatest gift you could give to yourself.

So don’t listen to those notes, in fact, don’t open notes at all, just use Substack to read (that’s what I do and it’s much healthier), and don’t compare numbers because who gives a flying fuck about stats on an app like substack. Please, no one is winning a cool contest here; we’re all massive nerds.

From Marseille with Love,

*vapes away*